Thursday, August 11, 2005

THAT OLD CHESTNUT (LET'S STUDY IT)

If you're a regular reader of this Web Page, Various Magazines, a scrap of paper with some shit scrawled on it etc you'll know that I'm really obsessed with Gerontology. Some days I'll sit back and Talk about it non-stop to Colleagues; are you interested to find out more, if so ---> 'don't just dream it - do it'.

Background on Gerontology


'The Bible of Gerontology'
Not to be confused with - 'The Bible'

To put it bluntly, Gerontology is 'studying oldness'. Most mammals and objects get older as time goes by, occasionally stopping to rest. The visible signs of ageing can be beaten with Clarins or some shit, but the invisible signs are unbeatable by all but the most formidable Gerontologists. This 'hard core' of Science Fanatics have managed to stop ageing in its tracks, with dramatic results.


'Typical Gerontologist with Research Snake'

Gerontologists operate in small groups or Salons, where anyone over the age of 45 can go and get 'Age Reversed' - for a price*.

(* One Thousand Million Dollars)

My only concern is, the Moral and Ethical implications. First 'they' are telling us, NO to Cloning, NO to research of Embryo, NO to Further Space Missions, but when it comes to Gerontology, it's all systems go, yes please where do I sign, fuck the Consequences, book me a session with a Salon, Secretary!!

CAN WE PLEASE PAUSE TO THINK IT THROUGH.

It's all I ask. Such a small ask.

What a tiny ask, in the scheme of things!!

16 Comments:

Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

Who cares about Gerontwhatever, that doesn't affect Age Brackets That Count, surely in the name of decent journalism you could apologise and produce something a bit more Real.

7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you USED to be funny. what has happened?

9:40 PM  
Blogger Alex said...

Shut up anonymous looser, or IOYC will get Nataniel to kick your ass caberet "performing at a high school" style.

'Typical Gerontologist with Research Snake' is gold, all gold.

10:07 PM  
Blogger Dr Henrik Ziegler said...

I want a research snake! Where can I get one? Are there Gerontology shops? Or is it "for a price" kind of stuff?

12:15 AM  
Blogger Jobe said...

Sorry, anonymous was me. I forgot to sign in.

I'm just stiring the pot/trying to make him strive for better.

And by that, I mean it wasn't me at all. But I LOL at the concept of IOYC having the power to control Nataniel. Like ANYONE can control Nataniel, even Nataniel can't control Nataniel.

5:00 AM  
Anonymous HorseDrawnZepplin said...

Ah, yes, Contemporary Gerontology. The slippery slope down which so many fine minds have slidden.

Before you know it, you will be sucked into the Post-contemporary Gerontology vs Post-modern Gerontolology feud, then the whole question of post- and neo-colonial gerontology will have to be answered, not to mention Queer Gerontology (or Querentology as some have it).

Finally you will have to give up the battle and just call it Sustainability and be done with it.

HDZ

By the way, did you know that my professor once told me that I belonged to the post-contemporary school of linguistics?

9:50 PM  
Blogger Amco V Knees said...

'However, once a drunk Norwegan had an idea in a tent: pension off everybody from birth up until 40. In this time the pensioner or 'pensionist' attends school, travels, mates, goes nuts, has children, and then at 40 starts their working life. I like this because it has a lovely shape and because no 'pensionist' under the age of 40 is going to eat catfood. And this should be our primary goal in any country with catfood on its hands. And I've already counted three.'

(If you read this with your best Cary Grant accent you can almost see him in the trailer for movie)

9:53 AM  
Blogger Dr Henrik Ziegler said...

HDZ: Despite having almost my initials, you're neglecting the important field of Post(-)structuralist Althusserian Gerontolo-phenomenological Marxism.

And specifically how you can use it to succeed at stockmarket investing.

3:18 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Knees

I can totally see the trailer for that Movie, and it looks almost better than Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire, which at the moment is the Movie I am waiting for the most. That's heavy praise, let me tell you as I am fucking HANGING OUT for that shit, I might do another countdown for it!!

Dear Anonymous

LOL, you are Anonymous - Were your parents shit at naming / are you 'ashamed of what you have wrought' etc. I feel a bit sorry about your Predicament. But also, suck shit!

Dear Everyone

Seriously, that Whale Festival is getting so fucking close now. I am pretty pumped that talk of Nataniel is coinciding with its closeness in a 'directly proportional' fashion / Geometric Progression.

Keep your eyes on the Prize! (a Saying)

Kind Regards,
IOYC Seasonal Affective Disorder

11:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who/what is nataniel?
also- i am not the previous anonymous, we just happen to have the same name.

1:00 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Anonymous (II)

Holy Shit - Please don't get me started on Nataniel again!! I've already 'gone to press' with so many Articles and Corrections about him.

But I could publish more about him, really I could, please, why won't you let me do more about him - Cruel Fate!!

Kind Regards,
IOYC Vestigal Tail

5:48 AM  
Blogger Alex said...

Yes well, Something tells me you will do more on him, when you go see him at the HERMANUS WHALE FESTIVAL!!!!

Should we be bracing ourselves now for your festival hiatus?

6:56 AM  
Anonymous ilse said...

I started to mutter "nat.an.eee.el" under my breath today. I presume he pronounces it the wanker way (see above), and not "nath.an.iel" the way NORMAL PEOPLE do.

11:04 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Alex

Dude, for serious I am getting so pumped / freaked about that shit - my Countdown is reminding me EVERY DAY about it, like a Double-Edged Sword of Damocles (?). Brace Yourself - that's putting it Mildly!!

(Not Really - putting it Mildly would be like 'Would you enjoy a Rose Hip Tea' or some shit).

Dear Ilse

That muttering is Bloody Great - who cares how you pronounce it as long as you are filled with Joy about it. So much Joy!!

Kind Regards,
IOYC May Be Monitored For Quality Purposes

6:17 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice Blog

Best Wishes

I have a site 80 million Down Loadable Movies If you have the time stop by.

4:07 PM  
Anonymous dramas=0 said...

this guy is an amateur gerontologist. Pretty fucking amazing summary of aging research:

http://www.benbest.com/

I want to test some drugs for lifespan extension/toxicity and need a cohort of bodybuilders. They eat anything.

4:50 AM  

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