Monday, August 08, 2005

A CATALOGUE OF TRAVELOGUES IN THE FORM OF A DUOLOGUE

IOYC: (Enters the Stage or some shit) Hey, hi! Guess what, I have just returned from a 'far-flung Clime', that Great and Noble Country of Italy, where I had some Ill adventures and Journalism of 'Local Interest Stories'.


'Great, now there are Kids in Italy, Spoiling it'

RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (WITH ENERGY) Holy fucking shit! I am blown away by that. Can I see some photos.

IOYC: Hell 'nay', because my camera fucked up and erased them all. First my Computer then my Camera, is there no end to my bullshit Woes of Technology.

Playwright's note / 'Serving Suggestion' - At this point some Chorus Members pass out in Symbolic Gesture of the Woes of Technology??

RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (WITH ENERGY) Tell me about it then -

(Pause)

RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (WITH ENERGY) - in Words.

Playwright's note - I cannot emphasize enough how fucking energetic that Rapt Audience Member (on Stage) is. You are a shit Director if the audience doesn't get it by this point - the dude is SO ENERGETIC!!

IOYC: Yae Verily I visited a Villa and a Market, and some other shit. The Villa was super Rustic, which 'clicked nicely' into my Lifetime Achivement on Rustic Houses - an example of Hidden Synergies. The Market was so fucking corrupted by the Mafia, those dudes were everywhere at that Market, others didn't see them but I saw them [DID THEY SEE ME ---> 'A PRICE ON MY HEAD'].

(MEGA Pause)

IOYC: Also there was an incident with 'the collected Works of Norwegian Folk Author Peter Christen Asbjornsen' which hasn't been resolved, Loss of Friendships etc.

RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (WITH ENERGY) That sounds pretty fucked up.

IOYC: Why don't you keep going on about it, and see what happens.

RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (WITH ENERGY) Oh Shit.

Playwright's note - The Rapt Audience Member can look approx 15% less rapt for this Line of Dialogue. Emphasis on Contrast!!

IOYC: (Exeunt)

(Another MEGA Pause)




RAPT AUDIENCE MEMBER (ON STAGE): (Exeunt)

7 Comments:

Blogger Jess said...

Huzzah (and other such words which sound more appropriate when being yelled during a fox hunt)!

Good to have you back, Mr IOYC x

4:43 PM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

Your brand of Journalism answers no questions but excites me like an agitated electron.

Let's have more Opinions regarding Issues, pronto (It.)!

4:46 PM  
Blogger la nadine said...

welcome back, funny man.

where's my postcard?

5:09 PM  
Blogger Jobe said...

How can I get in the audience for next time?

Is there a ticket office?

7:26 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

That was some funny stuff. Maybe (possibly) your best post/Journalism yet!

10:05 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Y'All

Thanks for your 'well-wishing'! It's good and stupid to be back in this Idiotic Land / adopted home etc.

You should see how ill my new Computer is. Even a Male Corpse would have a big Erection if he saw it ('Rigor Mortis' ??).

Dear Jobe,

You could so get a 'complimentary ticket' or some shit, if I can convince that box office --> all they care about is Profits, Profits and more Profits. Don't they care about Human Rights!

Kind Regards,
IOYC Cares About Human Rights (Not Profits)

4:25 AM  
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