Tuesday, August 09, 2005

THE MIGHTIEST GRIFFON* OF THEM ALL

*Alternative Spelling ----> Gryphon

For crying out loud, when will this question be resolved: What is the best Griffon.

It's baffled Philosophers for centuries, and now it's baffling the shit out of me (unsuprising, I'm something of an 'amateur Philosophy' myself, so many strings to my bow!?) I bet it's baffling you now just thinking about it. I'd bet my life on it.

"GREAT, NOW I AM DROWNING IN A SEA OF AMBIGUITY AND SHIT, FUCK THIS"

Don't you worry yourself, because I'm going to solve the 'Griffon Trilemma' right here right now.

The Contenders

Everyone who's anyone agrees, the search for the best Griffon is down to three finalists. So don't come at me with some alternative bullshit, have some respect for the established order of things, bloody hell.

1. Griffon Hovercraft

Griffons are currently in service with navy, army and paramilitary customers worldwide, and their commercial applications include passenger and tourist ferries, hydrographic and seismic surveys, crash rescue and firefighting, mobile clinics, oil rig and civil engineering support.


'Griffon Hovercraft – hovercraft that work'. (Official Slogan)

2. Wire Haired Pointing Griffon (AKA Korthals' Griffon)

Although notations to Griffon history can be found which date back to 1545, development of the current day Wirehaired Pointing Griffon began in earnest in the Netherlands in 1873 by a young Dutch sportsman and avid hunter by the name of Eduard Karel Korthals (1851-1896).


'At first glance I have Three legs'

3. Griffon Corp Clopay Building Products

Griffon’s garage door operation, Clopay Building Products Company, is one of the largest manufacturers and marketers of residential garage doors in the U.S. as well as a major supplier of industrial and commercial doors for the new construction, and repair and remodel markets.


'Majestic Beauty of a Perfectly installed Door/s'

Pretty tough decision, I'll say.

Conclusion / Denouement

I HEREBY SOLEMNLY DECLARE AND AFFIRM that the Griffon garage door is the illest Griffon. Second best is the hovercraft. That stupid fucking dog is a woefully poor LAST. Why don't they put it down.

"MY STRESS RELATED ILLNESSES HAVE ALL CLEARED UP AT ONCE, *JUMPS FOR JOY*"

I am so glad to hear that I might just 'pop a Firecracker' if that shit wasn't justifiably illegal.

7 Comments:

Blogger Jobe said...

Dude, I totally ranked mine the same as you before I even saw your answer (I was playing the home game).

Also, is "----->" the new strikethrough?

9:23 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Jobe

It's such an obvious problem, once you look at it with a 'Veneer of Rationality'. How satisfying is it, to find the answer!! -----> 'Ah', etc.

Kind Regards,
IOYC Suppliers of Quality Automotive Parts Since 1996

1:33 AM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

First you're gone, then you're back, then gone again. What am I to think?

10:00 PM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

*fears worst*

10:00 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Cheep

I'm still here! Just busy researching the biggest Fraud ever of Science, involving Beakers, a Solution of Five Parts or some shit. If I can just 'get it together' it'll be all over here so soon, man, it'll be soon.

"WILL IT BE SOON"

Lol!

Kind Regards,
IOYC Also Doubles as a Facsimile

5:50 AM  
Anonymous HorseDrawnZepplin said...

When planning one's Gryphon related purchases, it is *so* important to have access to useful resources such as this one.

For many people, myself included, the first exposure to the Gryphon came from Lewis Carroll's seminal work "Alice in Wonderland". When the Gryphon was introduced the author added the useful comment "If you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture". Unfortunately my edition was a text only copy from the School library. Nevertheless the thought was there.

Also, fans of the Griffon (or Gryphon) may or may not be aware that the student bar at the Caulfield Campus of Monash University is the Griff Inn.

I have no idea why, but there you are.

Thanks again, IOYC for your helpful research.

9:41 PM  
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5:17 AM  

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