I'M GETTING HIVES (OF INTERFERING BEES)
There's a fucking Bee in my Bonnet. I just got out of my Automobile to check the oil or some shit, I 'pop the trunk' and all there is in there is one little smarmy Bee. It's not even a Queen Bee, just a little ole drone, plain as day. How is this fucking Insect powering my car!! It's driving me Nuts to just consider it.
'Actual Size'
Here's a description of the scenario:
SCENARIO:
IOYC stares at Bee. Bee just fucking smiles back, chilling on the floor of the bonnet. It looks like the Cat that ate the Canary, except a Bee.
That shit is like Version 2.0 of my Automobile.
Upgrades include ENGINE ----> BEE.
I got so angry I made up a list of things the Pope can do. I might smash the Bee with this fucking list soon:
THE POPE CAN DO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE:
1. Explode on cue / at will.
2. Grimace any time incl 24 / 7.
3. Journey to a theoretical Universe with Prof Hawking (Stephen Hawking).
4. Start a new Religion of 'This Religion, I am the Pope of it'. [NB: CONTROVERSIAL]
So satisfying --> but I can just imagine being prosecuted for Murder of a Bee. Too bad if the Judge is some Hippie of Buddha that loves Insects, he/she/it? will 'throw the book at' me. All I need, a book thrown at me, as if I don't have enough to deal with already without a book-shaped Crater right in my Face [and a lengthy Jail term being some Dude's Bitch].
Can you survive in Jail by 'just being pretty introverted'? Imagine if I get Hoisted on my own Retard and end up in that Jail I started. I'll try to tell the other inmates --> 'LOL Irony' they'll be like 'LOL *sharpens toothbrush*'.
'Actual Size'
Here's a description of the scenario:
SCENARIO:
IOYC stares at Bee. Bee just fucking smiles back, chilling on the floor of the bonnet. It looks like the Cat that ate the Canary, except a Bee.
That shit is like Version 2.0 of my Automobile.
Upgrades include ENGINE ----> BEE.
I got so angry I made up a list of things the Pope can do. I might smash the Bee with this fucking list soon:
THE POPE CAN DO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE:
1. Explode on cue / at will.
2. Grimace any time incl 24 / 7.
3. Journey to a theoretical Universe with Prof Hawking (Stephen Hawking).
4. Start a new Religion of 'This Religion, I am the Pope of it'. [NB: CONTROVERSIAL]
So satisfying --> but I can just imagine being prosecuted for Murder of a Bee. Too bad if the Judge is some Hippie of Buddha that loves Insects, he/she/it? will 'throw the book at' me. All I need, a book thrown at me, as if I don't have enough to deal with already without a book-shaped Crater right in my Face [and a lengthy Jail term being some Dude's Bitch].
Can you survive in Jail by 'just being pretty introverted'? Imagine if I get Hoisted on my own Retard and end up in that Jail I started. I'll try to tell the other inmates --> 'LOL Irony' they'll be like 'LOL *sharpens toothbrush*'.
6 Comments:
As a certified IANAL, I've got a defence plan to get you out of this sticky situation:
Just plead 'temporary insanity of bee' - ie, you were all chillin' and pollen' (Gallup or some shit) and the bee pulled a crazy kamikaze move, got it's stinger stuck with some barbed comment and in its hurry (kiri), disembowelled itself.
If the Judge doesn't buy that, just look at him/her/them/us and just say straight up, "Ciao" and scoot off (Libby style).
By "got it's stinger stuck" - I did of course mean, "got italics stinger stuck" - hence the apo[cata]strophe.
I suggest trying to "whisper words of wisdom" and ask him (the bee) kindly to "let it* be[e]".
*the engine
I know we've had our differences/generations of hate in the past, but the following line is the greatest thing you've ever written and praise is due:
"Can you survive in Jail by 'just being pretty introverted'?"
Dear Y'All
Thanks for your help in this troubled time. That Bee caused me no end of problems until it accidentally looked at a Solar Eclipse through a Lens. Now it's fucked! (Burnt).
THE GREAT RECKONING:
BEE: 0 (Burnt)
IOYC: Nominal Score
Kind Regards,
IOYC The Ultimate Fighting Weapon
Er... Mr Fighting Weapon... I think you made them mad...
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