Thursday, November 03, 2005

I'M GETTING HIVES (OF INTERFERING BEES)

There's a fucking Bee in my Bonnet. I just got out of my Automobile to check the oil or some shit, I 'pop the trunk' and all there is in there is one little smarmy Bee. It's not even a Queen Bee, just a little ole drone, plain as day. How is this fucking Insect powering my car!! It's driving me Nuts to just consider it.


'Actual Size'

Here's a description of the scenario:

SCENARIO:
IOYC stares at Bee. Bee just fucking smiles back, chilling on the floor of the bonnet. It looks like the Cat that ate the Canary, except a Bee.

That shit is like Version 2.0 of my Automobile.

Upgrades include ENGINE ----> BEE.

I got so angry I made up a list of things the Pope can do. I might smash the Bee with this fucking list soon:

THE POPE CAN DO THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE:

1. Explode on cue / at will.
2. Grimace any time incl 24 / 7.
3. Journey to a theoretical Universe with Prof Hawking (Stephen Hawking).
4. Start a new Religion of 'This Religion, I am the Pope of it'. [NB: CONTROVERSIAL]

So satisfying --> but I can just imagine being prosecuted for Murder of a Bee. Too bad if the Judge is some Hippie of Buddha that loves Insects, he/she/it? will 'throw the book at' me. All I need, a book thrown at me, as if I don't have enough to deal with already without a book-shaped Crater right in my Face [and a lengthy Jail term being some Dude's Bitch].

Can you survive in Jail by 'just being pretty introverted'? Imagine if I get Hoisted on my own Retard and end up in that Jail I started. I'll try to tell the other inmates --> 'LOL Irony' they'll be like 'LOL *sharpens toothbrush*'.

7 Comments:

Blogger Yubris said...

As a certified IANAL, I've got a defence plan to get you out of this sticky situation:

Just plead 'temporary insanity of bee' - ie, you were all chillin' and pollen' (Gallup or some shit) and the bee pulled a crazy kamikaze move, got it's stinger stuck with some barbed comment and in its hurry (kiri), disembowelled itself.

If the Judge doesn't buy that, just look at him/her/them/us and just say straight up, "Ciao" and scoot off (Libby style).

2:30 PM  
Blogger Yubris said...

By "got it's stinger stuck" - I did of course mean, "got italics stinger stuck" - hence the apo[cata]strophe.

2:45 PM  
Blogger FLEX said...

I suggest trying to "whisper words of wisdom" and ask him (the bee) kindly to "let it* be[e]".

*the engine

2:01 AM  
Blogger Jobe said...

I know we've had our differences/generations of hate in the past, but the following line is the greatest thing you've ever written and praise is due:

"Can you survive in Jail by 'just being pretty introverted'?"

6:29 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Y'All

Thanks for your help in this troubled time. That Bee caused me no end of problems until it accidentally looked at a Solar Eclipse through a Lens. Now it's fucked! (Burnt).

THE GREAT RECKONING:

BEE: 0 (Burnt)
IOYC: Nominal Score

Kind Regards,
IOYC The Ultimate Fighting Weapon

6:52 AM  
Blogger Yubris said...

Er... Mr Fighting Weapon... I think you made them mad...

11:42 PM  
Blogger The God of Willowdale said...

There are no bees in my city. It is idealic.

12:18 AM  

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