Tuesday, October 18, 2005

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE BEACH

Cop this – I thought I’d totally try my hand at a work of The Bard. What do you think of the results? (Below). I think they are ‘pretty fucking nice to look at’.

"I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY FUCKING NICE TO LOOK AT"

Holla. Anyway,

IOYC’S THE MERCHANT OF VENICE BEACH
(An Adoption of William Shakespeare’s Famouse Worke)


'Check out our Hamlets'

IOYC: Ayo, Yea Verily it’s pretty ill here in Verona, so much to see and do, yet I still have an Ennui MEGA SIGH.
Mercutio: Chill out bro, My Kingdom of a Horse, let’s just hang out a bit.
IOYC: Alright, for thine art pretty sweet of chilling with, Mercutio, O FATEFUL MERCUTIO.
Mercutio: Hark, a Viola – she’s pretty fly For a White Guy LOL

Mercutio Exeunt.

Viola: Holla, IOYC, I have travelled far anon to find this place and whaddya know, it fucking sucks.
IOYC: Straight up, are you a Dude or a Chick.
Viola: I am a chick dressed of a Dude, is that freaking you out.
IOYC: Pretty much ---> SO CONFUSING.

Viola Exeunt.

MEGA PAUSE

IOYC: Fuck this.

IOYC Exeunt.

FIN

I wonder how this will go down 'Off Broadway'. Like a Sack of Shit FIVE STARS

14 Comments:

Blogger Yubris said...

Check it, I was so full of suspense while reading that I almost bit my thumbs at you.

My critique is as such: That which we call a Venice (Beach), By any other name would smell as sweet (as coconut oil). Hortatory Exclamation!

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That is seriously the best shit I've read in "Ages".

7:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

exeunt-- pretty sure that means "they leave" (plural)

you fell off long ago mang

*shrug*

8:56 PM  
Blogger Yubris said...

pretty sure mango has an "o" on the end

10:10 PM  
Blogger IOYC said...

Dear Anonymous

Why don't you cry about Grammar to your Genitals in a Mirror.

Kind regards,
IOYC Hugs Corners

2:49 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

*emerges from internet-less wilderness*

AMAZING UND PROFOUND! I applaud thee, sirrah!

*returns to murky depths of cyber-silence*

6:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

umm... i don't have any free ipods, sorry. BUT I AM SO EXCITED THAT IOYC CONTINUES TO EXIST!!

i just came back to mope and read that last entry again and found SO MANY NEW ONES!!

YAY!
thanks ioyc, i would probably pass uni without you.

6:30 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Yea coz spending 2 minutes every few days reading this TOTALLY means you can't study or some shit.

Cunts with poor time management skills suck at life/getting free iPod nanos.

4:32 AM  
Blogger ms fits said...

Let's go to Broadway. I rather fancy a musical theatre experience, Lloyd-Webber-stylee.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Your page loaded really quick for all the content and images I'm impressed

4:03 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Only 2 of my toddlers are needy. The other one is quiet. A little too quiet... (should I beat him?)

And no MENSA. My children will all be going to the International School of Magic and Trickery. And they'll fucking be happy.

4:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I watched my neighbor beat her gerbils to death with an IPod Nano. Then we had cake.

Bob Slocum

1:43 PM  
Blogger IOYC said...

Dear Y'All

Imagine how many iPod Nanos I would have by now if I wanted them all. I could make a Couch of them, so modular. 'My Arms is Scrolling a Tune, while I recline in this FREE COUCH'.

Kind Regards,

IOYC Calypso Rhythms

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to hark back to ol' "anonymous" (if that IS your real name).

Don't correct people unless you're correct. You'll look stupid. Exeunt means "exits never to return for the remainder of the play" or thereabouts. Nothing to do with plurality, or pluralism. Take your shrug and shove it.

6:51 PM  

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