Tuesday, October 04, 2005


You all know how I love Childs and Science like it ain't a thang. Well, I decided to open what so far is the world's most ill Scientific Montessori Kindergarten. It's a place where other people's Childs can just run free, be themselves, benefit from a rigid framework of Activites etc.

'Shut the Fuck Up'

The self-esteem of these Childs is through the roof - it's like they're on drugs. When the Husbands and Wifes (non Gender-Specific Language Pls - Ed) rock up to kidnap them at the end of the day, all they exclaim is 'Jesus Fucking Christ this Montessori Kindergarten fulfils my dreams of a Better Tomorrow, Whoops message on my iPod Nano LOL my Stocks and Bonds have Dropped ---> RRRRRRRRRRRRe-mortgage'.

It's hella satisfying.

What I'm thinking is to up the stakes and run a 'Randomly Comptrolled Double Blind Experiment' on the Childs, to benefit Science.


(MEGA Pause)


Why don't you protest about it in front of a shop like I give a shit? 'Nice sign - Microsoft Word LOL'. Anyway I have entered into a JVA (Joint Venture Agreement) with the Haribo Company, dudes that make Sweets. Everyone knows Childs love Sweets. So I am going to lace that shit with some experimental Chemistry, and watch the money / hypotheses pile up!

'Gummi Bears - Flying here and there and everywhere containing Isotopes of Iridium'

I am so going to blow the Ethics Committee's Minds with this fucking Experiment! 'God Damn IOYC, will you ever stop Surprising us?' --> Back-slapping etc. I have fortified the Windmill b/c of the inevitable backlash from the Religious Right, those clowns will be stepping on Landmines like chumps if they come anywhere near here WILL THE LORD GUIDE THEIR STEPS.


Blogger thr said...

Ever since they stopped kiddies going into coal mines (even canaries are banned these days [animal rights/canary union]), I have beena bid supporter of kiddies -> childs as scientific experiment subjects. But why just gummie bears etc- why not experiments that will get us to mars? you could have the kids learning all about Mars on the way there- by the time they get there they wil be all grown up and hella knowledgable about Mars. Plus think about the social knowledge (someone say "Lord Of The Flies"?).


4:07 PM  
Blogger Yubris said...

Awesome IOYC. Just be sure to Milgram that shit up, aiii.

4:38 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Can you also conduct Science on Old People and Yappy Small Dogs?!?

2:18 AM  
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9:04 PM  
Anonymous Jesus said...

Wow! Nice to see you back MR IOYC.

Of course I knew you would be, because of the omni...something. You know, the one that means I see shit.

Ha! The spammer gets spammed:


Is that, like, ironic? Don't you think?

1:51 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Yubris

I am so down with the Milgram Experiment! You receive a Journalism Award for being on board with that shit. Perhaps you'd like to put it on your Fireplace --> that shit will just take over your whole Fireplace!

Dear 121774

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4:31 PM  

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