Monday, October 03, 2005

A SHORT DIATRIBE (NB: DOUBLE MEANING)

Fo real. Y'know, EVERY SINGLE MINUTE sometimes I'm like, 'this modern lifestyle is so stupid, oh no my iPod Nano has a Defect, holy shit TiVo on my Palm Pilot let's have a dinner party and discuss Office Politics' etc and then immediately my Mind explodes into --> Let's Escape to an Island and have a Tribe.


'We'll need a shitload of Merchandise - Please'

I think having a Tribe would be pretty ill, especially if you were Chieftan or just plain Subsidiary. Even a fully paid up member
of the 'upper middle class?' (of the Tribe). Imagine making War on other Tribes, pretty fucked but too bad --> Human Nature. Thanks Charles Darwin (OR IS IT INTELLIGENT DESIGN; FFS will the LORD ever get off this Web Page).

"MY MIND MIGHT JUST BURST FROM ALL THAT ILL SHIT"

How good are the 'lofty pursuits of Philosophy'. I've conducted what amounts to approx 100,000 hrs (hours) of Anthropological Research on Tribes to sort this shit out. My results pretty much speak for themselves - let's listen to them.

IOYC's Guide to Tribes incl. Pros and Cons

A Modern Island Tribe ('Tribe') is a structured limited liability partnership of dudes and chicks basically just chilling out. It's not like Old School Tribes where you have fancy names and shields, more of a club (do you have Clubs? LOL Classic).

IMPORTANT: The Tribe is governed by strict Rules and Regulations - deviations are punishable by Tribal Elders.
Often the Tribe will worship stuff, deities, other Tribes, remnant of IOYC crash landed on Island etc.

PROS:
1. Everyone knows each other - no strangers in a Tribe (cf mysterious strangers in Film, Life etc)
2. So much chilling out but also vicious 'internecine fighting'.

"HOLY FUCK"

3. Dope Codes of Morals, primitive religious beliefs, potential worship of IOYC.
4. Maybe dudes can have like, 6 Wifes.

CONS:
1. Quickly run out of shit to do / say, vicious internecine fighting (SO GOOD THEY NAMED IT TWICE).
2. Troubling scenarios --> 'Sucks to your ass-marr etc'
3. Impossible to develop lifestlye of a genteel landowner or any kind of class structure.
4. Adverse tax consequences if Tribe gets cashed up.

On balance, Tribes can't win. But they can surely give it a shot and that's all that counts.


'We Tribed our Best'

8 Comments:

Blogger Yubris said...

If you have some sort of team-pickoff ala year 9 PE, then I'll definitely be there with bells on (and other tribal paraphernalia), bouncing eagerly screaming "Pigmy! Pigmy!" ... Ah yes, fun times.

That hart looks pretty sweet nestled in those antlers like that. We can attempt so much!

4:25 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

Pros and cons was SOOOO ripped off that handsome Jobe fellow.

It never existed anywhere in the world before he pioneered the style.

I'm sure he'd be disgusted at your insolence right now.

12:31 AM  
Anonymous rachel said...

But rachael with an unnecessary 'a', you must realise that Jobe is a whiny Ricky Ponting kind of never was, whereas IOYC is the shiznit.

7:33 PM  
Blogger Jobe said...

But he has feelings too and they hurt just as bad when someone steps all over them.

5:11 AM  
Blogger CloCkWeRX said...

Intelligent Design? Only if it's been.... Touched By His Noodly Appendage

3:37 PM  
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