Wednesday, October 12, 2005

SHARING IS CARING

With all the Troubles in the world today it's easy to forget - 'Fuck, are Humans ever superior of Apes'. I remembered this shit yesterday and straight as an arrow got some Bonobos on board to be my Serfs. They are pretty chilled, check it:


'Let's not take anything Seriously'

Bonobos are a different kind of Ape from most others. Normally, you'd think of Gorillas and 'the Exotic Oran-Utan of Siam' or some shit.

"I'M THINKING ABOUT A GIBBON OR TWO"

Well Bonobos are nothing like that. Even their genes are so fucking different. They are basically a Super-Breed, of Ape, able to perform tasks like Childs can do (eg Gift-Wrapping, Admiralty, Basic Spells). I've got mine just doing odd jobs of the Windmill, cleaning Blades and so on. Precis: 'Adding grist to the Mill'. What's Grist

Here's my Moral Dilemma:

IS IT OK TO NOT PAYMENT THE BONOBOS

At the Press Club, dudes have been saying to pay those Bonobos a Minimum Wage. All I have been doing is punching them if they don't 'do as I say not as I do'. Who should I listen to --> the Voice of Reason? (iPod Nano LOL) So hard to keep track of all the conundrums at the Press Club; why do I keep going there?


'A Merry Ole Time With Friends'

9 Comments:

Blogger Quz Boss said...

Whoa, I neva huurd of dem apes! They kinda ugly but if they can do what a human can do, YO! ;-) PEACE

4:10 PM  
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4:18 PM  
Blogger Alabama said...

What do you think they would spend there money on?

12:44 AM  
Blogger Alabama said...

And dear, I believe punching the B's is not what sharing and caring is all about..

12:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those apes look very jolly despite the menial labour they're doing around the windmill.

did you botox them too?

7:06 PM  
Anonymous ilse said...

They have same sex relations, those bonobos. And they have wet nurses for babies, and it is said they are like this (ie, freakishly human) because they lived in habitats with a lot of ground growing food. They didn't have to expend a lot of energy climbing trees (unlike chimps) so they make with the fuck.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Jane said...

comgratulations on a better than average blog :)

6:53 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

As a self-professed "expert" on the bonobo, I can assure you that their entire society is fuelled by sex.

"Banana, chum?"

"Only if you tug at my danglies!"

"Fair enough!"

or even

"My, may I have a slurp at your stick covered in wild ants?"

"Certainly, though there's another stick you can 'have a bash at' first"

etc.

All said with facial expressions, natch.

So don't pay them, blow them. That's my advice.

(as endorsed by the International Zoophilia Association)

6:52 PM  
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6:30 AM  

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