Monday, October 10, 2005

HUBBA HUBBA, PIG BASTARD

This is getting to be 'beyond a Joke' - as I'm about to be investigated by Internal Affairs of Journalism. These are cats working on the 'inside', literally stop at nothing to stamp out corruption in Journalism, it's like The Matrix (ie those dudes of Elrond in The Matrix). I just got the notice this morning when I clocked in at the station, 'routine bust / Brooklyn-Queens Expressway / 10-4' or some shit. There it was on my locker, reading:

AYO IOYC YOU ARE BEING INVESTIGATED PROMPTLY, NEVER FEAR IF YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE [sic]

This has got me so Paranoia, what if I do have something to Hide!? I mean I've always kept up the highest ethical standards --> it's why I joined the Force. But it's like they just want one little slip up before 'Hey - hi, let's go to Room 101 and haul you in front of a Grand Jury to explain an Inquisition: Topic = YOU ARE FUCKED NOW'.

The other alternative I guess is if it just turns into a cheery session of backslapping and thinking about the Good Old Days of Cadets and 'the crisp sound of Leather on Willow'. What has got me buzzing is that they will have so much difficulty cracking my 'poker face' given that the shit is totally Botoxed to the Max. It's like the unseen hand of the Market was guiding my Flying Syringe Monster directly into my face.


'Hit Points 120 Stamina 120'

Holla back Milton Friedman / Thomas Friedman! (IS COREY FELDMAN IN ON THIS).

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, you must be totally peaking about the Botox - mixed blessing.

4:54 AM  
Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

But what are you being investigated for?

7:04 AM  
Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Korean online newspaper enlists army of 'citizen reporters'
The staff at OhmyNews fills only two floors of a small office building in downtown Seoul, but it edits stories from thousands of "citizen reporters" across South Korea.
What a great blog! I'm definitely going to bookmark you for future visits.

I have a Viagra site/blog. It pretty much covers Viagra related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

2:23 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Tartan

I don't even fucking know! Probably 'Gross Misconduct' or some shit, ie a Trumped-Up Charge.

Dear Anonymous (II)

Dude, you are almost a fucking sick Journalist! I am a little bit Envious of your story of Korea. (Although again I refuse your help of Penis).

Kind regards,
IOYC to the Letter

2:53 PM  
Blogger Yubris said...

It could be Patrick Fitzgerald investing in you?!? Big it up for keeping it real and your integrity intact (tactful!) coz we know you would never let the ketchup outta the bag. A good journalist never reveals their sauces. (Are you listening Robert Novak? [you probably are])

5:08 PM  
Blogger Rachael said...

What about Corey Haim?

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