Saturday, October 08, 2005

TIME TO FACE FACTS

Great - I just accidentally Botoxed my whole face. I was trying to rig up what I can only describe as a 'Flying Syringe Monster' in my Windmill, to ward off predators. Thing is it backfired like a motherfucker, due to an error with the Blueprint.


'He's Going To Pull Through - Perhaps'

At least I know it works, even if I can't smile about it --> I can't do fuck all (Facially).

"I BET YOU LOOK HELLA YOUNG THOUGH"

I won't lie - I look like I'm Six years old. Shit's alright, if I was in Primary School or a contest of 'who's the Youngest (looking)'. But imagine a Job Interview:

'Oh Hello IOYC, your Curriculus Vitae is fucking dope as shit, let's just..'

(MEGA PAUSE)

'Are you fucking SIX?? as there is a minimum age requirement for this job'.

What are jobs for people that look of Six but are actually so fucking Qualified, degrees of Journalism, Science, Kicking Ass, Taking Names, Masters of Realness, etc. All I can think is 'Boat Clerk' and 'Rambo Sidekick'. Are these even real jobs? Or just another example of 'Downshifting'.


'I'll get you for this Malfoy'

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

VeriSign Tackles the Scandal of Splog
By Lisa Vaas October 7, 2005 News Analysis: VeriSign's buy of the Weblogs.com ping server aims to fix the sagging springs of the blogosphere, which is getting crushed beneath blog spam.
Find out how you can buy and sell anything, like things related to private road construction on interest free credit and pay back whenever you want! Exchange FREE ads on any topic, like private road construction!

6:00 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Anonymous

Are you motherfucking suggesting that I could get a PRIVATE ROAD of my Windmill!? Because that shit seems so feasible to me right now. I love privity.

"DON'T WE ALL"

I dunno. (DOES ALLAH KNOW)

Kind Regards,
IOYC Legal and General

6:01 AM  
Blogger Yubris said...

'kenell. Next you'll be cosm(et)ically altering your noodly appendages and plastering yourself with rhinos. Just make sure you don't get addicted, or you'll have to go on the Bosvelox recovery programme - and that shit ain't nowhere near as good.

8:05 PM  
Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

"private road construction", how unappealing. I like how the spam is self-referential spam. It's crushing itself under its own weight, gross.

The journalism was good too.

7:10 AM  

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