Monday, August 22, 2005

SHOOK ONES (PART 2)

Cop this, I just unearthed a letter from my Dear Old Great-Grandfather (now a Corpse). It's a Historical View! Look at it (below).

"Dear Brigands.


'A Common Scene on the High Street, FOR SHAME'

Don't worry, I'm onto your little lark of 'Hey - hi. Let's make a living through thievery'. OH YES INDEED --> Why I've just had a word to the Lieutenant Governor or some chit, and he is going to be cracking down on Banditry with all his Considerable Might ['Tough on Crime, Tough on the Causes of Crime, I am the very model of a Modern Lieutenant Governor'].

"WHAT A TOSH, GET THEE HENCE"

WTD!? (What The Devil) An intruder of my Mail!? Little rapscallions, I'll clap you in Stocks. Aren't you aware I am 'The Realness'. I hope you are stricken of Dystentry and a Canker Sore on your Anus.

Kindest Regards,
IOY 'Lithograph Machine', Tuppence a Bag, Hey-Nonny-Nonny"


He's obviously fucked in the head GOT A GOOD POINT.

4 Comments:

Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

Nice photo. They obviously all passed nazi lumberjack school with flying colours and this is muckup day. Which one is your grandad?

6:30 AM  
Blogger Dr Henrik Ziegler said...

Dear IOYC,

Being that there's now an established family history of your journalistic style, and you've got so many fans and imitators, are you considering patenting (or have you already patented) your style of writing (in this age of Intellectual Property "I am not currently parroting your style by any means" etc.)?

You could set up a trust fund for the royalties, in the style of "Buy (Civil) War Bonds!" etc.

10:03 AM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

I better not find this post at the top of the page when I come back tomorrow morning.

10:20 PM  
Anonymous Matt Coff said...

Noooo 88788 way!

12:57 PM  

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