Wednesday, August 17, 2005

I'D LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY

Hey, hi - I was just pumping some iron at the gym this morning when I had a show stopping idea: a Movie about Bingo. How I thought of this was through a process of Reasoning on 'Bingo is so unrepresented in Cinema' - a total joke because so many people play it.


'$56.9 = Pure Profits!!. Is Film in China'

Oh my days I be running bare tings round these ends blud, trust!

"WHAT"

Cop this:

Synopsis for Bingo Movie
Main Character (played by Actor) strides calmly into a Bingo Establishment and begins playing for all he is worth. He is really concentrating. Wait - there is an evil Bingo Practitioner present! A guy who just doesn't give a shit for the rules. [Tension rises through the roof]. The whole match starts to really fuck up. It all hangs in the balance for ages. Then, towards the end, the Main Character suddenly realises: Holy Shit, I am really good at Bingo ---> I could win this shit!

It's a pretty focussed Movie, but there is plenty of space for Romance and moments of Humour to leaven the unbearable tension.

Character Arc:

Background of Main Character:

1. Just plain old nous, of Bingo.
2. Dead mentor, 'I always wanted to be a World Champion of Bingo, *urrggh*'

Background of evil Bingo Practitioner:

1. Intimidation of opponents: eg, 'Hey buddy, hey there with your Bingo card, how about I burn up your whole family? Would you like that? MENACING STARE
2. Hates Bingo but is drawn to it --> inexorably.

I pretty much just need a title now. I am thinking about -

'BINGO MOVIE: A Film of Total Excellence'

12 Comments:

Blogger fluffy said...

How about

B - I - N - G - O,

B - I - N - G - O,

B - I - N - G - O,

And Bingo was its Name-O

3:21 PM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

What about "The Tears Behind the Numbers"?

6:29 PM  
Blogger Jobe said...

You cunt, Punchy. First you get in on my interview shit, now you're taking my movie plots too.

If I didn't know better I'd swear you were trying to assimilate me.

8:08 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Jobe

Calm down you Monopoly Big Pharma robot! Don't make me paragraph mark up in this shit. Imagine what if I make a Story about Chefs / Cookery!! I was actually thinking of doing this, investigating, etc. But out of respect and lazy, 'nothing came of it'.

Dear Others

I am thinking also about 'Fantastic Bingo Experience: Movie'

???

Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Strikes Your Premises Now That's The End of This Press Statement

10:41 AM  
Blogger Amco V Knees said...

First the producers called it, AWAY WE GO. A review of its first performance outside New York was ' NO LEGS NO JOKES NO CHANCE. Before the NY opening the composer wanted to call it, YESSIRREE. The producer's wife suggested they call it, OKLAHOMA. They printed 10 000 fliers and the night before they were to mail them out the producers changed it to OKLAHOMA! All 10 000 printeds were changed by hand. BWFS, for the love of god, for the game, for your friends and family, don't go printing 10 000 fliers and then get a producer and try and put both those things together just to find a name. Just walk outside, on what could be a beautiful morning or what could be a beautiful day, look up at the sky with your arms out stretched and your back-a-arching, smile, and yell with all the punch in your gut, BINGO!

11:51 AM  
Blogger Dr Henrik Ziegler said...

How about

"Bingo: The IMAX 3D experience" (if shot in IMAX, and 3D)

or

"The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Bingo" (if shot Peter Greenaway style with a lot of weird shit, also will probably need 'Cook' and 'Wife of evil bingo player' characters (maybe the Cook could be the dead mentor? or maybe the Cook could be the lead?))..

or for the daytime telemovie version,

"'Shut up you stupid old fuck!': The Bingo Story"

though BBCC's "The Tears Behind The Numbers" is quality.

7:13 PM  
Anonymous BT said...

I cannot believe in this grammar/"shit of spelling"

"How I though of this was through a process of Reasoning..."

Is this the 1st mistake you have ever made??
Things can only go downhill from here.

8:19 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear BT

What the fuck are you talking about dude!! Questioning of my Spelling Style!!?

[HINT: I totally went back in time and changed that shit to a Correct Interpretation of English. LOL -> now you are a Paradox.]

Dear Amco

Imagine if I DID yell of 'Bingo' on any old street corner --> So many people would be thinking of Bingo at that moment. 'How could my life be influenced by Bingo' etc.

I think this is the best advertising yet! Fuck other forms of advertising!!

All the Best,
IOYC Takes One To Know One

11:50 AM  
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7:54 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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Come and check it out if you get time :-)

3:15 AM  
Anonymous Barry said...

For great prices and those hard to get items just check us out at http://www.bnbshoppersnetwork.com

5:03 PM  
Anonymous Bingo said...

love the blog

5:07 AM  

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