JUST FUCKING GREAT
You might be thinking, 'there's not been much Journalism here lately, is IOYC Died, Retired, Gone Crazy etc'. Well, I almost wish! Because the reality is probably 1,000 times worse / annoying.
Get this:
Slipknot is in my House.
I had never even heard of these IDIOTS until they all showed up at my front door, with bags, pets, 'sad expressions' - all the things that would be clues to 'we want to stay in your house for free, something has gone wrong in our lives'.
'Not a worry in the World!'
"I'VE READ ABOUT THIS HAPPENING BEFORE"
Thanks heaps for warning me. (SARCASTIC!!)
They are all sleeping in a big room I have which I normally use for Gymnasium and just plain Relaxing. I try to ignore them and 'focus' but they are ALWAYS like, 'Hey IOYC, what are you doing today, can we hang out, look at this BASSLINE or some shit' and then crying and stuff, 'we miss our old lives'. Like I give a fuck!
When are they going to Fucking Leave!!
Get this:
Slipknot is in my House.
I had never even heard of these IDIOTS until they all showed up at my front door, with bags, pets, 'sad expressions' - all the things that would be clues to 'we want to stay in your house for free, something has gone wrong in our lives'.
'Not a worry in the World!'
"I'VE READ ABOUT THIS HAPPENING BEFORE"
Thanks heaps for warning me. (SARCASTIC!!)
They are all sleeping in a big room I have which I normally use for Gymnasium and just plain Relaxing. I try to ignore them and 'focus' but they are ALWAYS like, 'Hey IOYC, what are you doing today, can we hang out, look at this BASSLINE or some shit' and then crying and stuff, 'we miss our old lives'. Like I give a fuck!
When are they going to Fucking Leave!!
7 Comments:
You just can't let any group of clowns get knotted in your gymnasium/relaxing room, IOYC. It's maintaining double standards to to be well-informed about scaffolding, but then let any Shaun Mick or Corey crash your pad in a totally self-obsessed, "please massage my ego, IOYC!", "my Mom think's I'm a troglodyte, but what do you think?" kind of way. I'm much too pished to be funny right now.
It's time to go.... Slipknot.
See, this is why I come here. It's not just for the quality journalism, it's because - unlike those soft network television 'journalists' or those absolute jokes in the mainstream print media - you don't just run off and abandon your readers on a whim.
It takes a pretty big fucking disaster to get between you and the truth, and disasters don't get much bigger than Slipknot.
I can think of one thing that could be considered worse... Three words for you - Insane Clown Posse. It's like Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas gave birth to numerous large children with a penchant for dress ups and performing shit music for ugly disenfranchised American teens. If they turned up at my door, I'd deadset get up in some grills.
Dude, it's times like this when you just have to remember:
94 days, 10 hours, 14 minutes, and 11 seconds left until The Hermanus Whale Festival!!!
Hee! Slipknot. You're funny. xo xo xo
Dear Y'All
Thanks for your support. I think they are going soon, I sat Corey down yesterday and gave him a Grilling, he was crying and shit but I kept going. I was all like 'Can you Fuck Off Corey', he was like 'But I Love it here etc, I feel Whole for the first time BLAH BLAH BLAH'. Whatever dude!
I am so thinking about the Whale Festival 24/7. Imagine when it is like 10 days to go and shit. It will be out of control in here.
Yours Sincerely,
IOYC C-C-CAPS LOCK
PS - If ICP rocked up here I would just immediately tell them to Get Out, Just Go On, Garrr etc like a scary dog.
Wow! A similar thing happened to my grandma- only it was The Seekers and they totally just made the bed and drank cups of tea.
Not much of a story, sure.
Dear Dudes,
I would fucking Kill the Seekers, in about 30 seconds, with Bats. (ie one Bat in each hand).
NOT FUCKING FLYING BATS
Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Arm & Hammer Baking Soda
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