Wednesday, June 08, 2005

I'VE GOT THE POWER! (TO PRESIDE OVER YOGA)

I know what you've been thinking, 'there hasn't been an Interview on this Web Site since that Jeff Probst debacle, and even before that there was only the George Clooney, Sherrif Richard Ingram, Representative of Farms etc, I'd rather live in a house made of moldy dicks than keep coming back here if this is the standard of Interviews etc etc'.

Totally fair enough. But grab hold of something to make sure you don't 'flip', because you're about to cop a glimpse at:

Yogacharya Dr. F. Estevez-Griego

"THAT NAME SOUNDS FAMILIAR, WHO IS IT?"

Oh, just the motherfucking World President of Yoga.


'The Biggest Yoga magazine in the World with the President on the cover (right)'

I think this is my best interview yet. Check it.

IOYC: Ayo, Dr. F. Estevez-Griego!
DR F. E-G: Sup. Hey, are you feeling better after the Probst thing.
IOYC: Straight up motherfucker do NOT mention that again alright?
DR F. E-G: (looks worried)
IOYC: How long have you been the President of Yoga.
DR F. E-G: Eight years.
IOYC: Word! Do you still like it.
DR F. E-G: Hell yes, I love it so much.
IOYC: (laughs).
DR F. E-G: Didn't you hear me? I said, Hell yes, I love it so much.
IOYC: Alright alright. What do you think about the fact that Yoga is sometimes being used to hurt children.
DR F. E-G: I am going to stamp that shit out with all of my power.
IOYC: (laughs). Thankyou for your time Dr President.
DR F. E-G: It's been my pleasure, now I need to get back to Yoga please.

"THAT'S SO INSIGHTFUL IT'S ALMOST UNBELIEVABLE"

Holla. Can you say, 'Pulitzer Prize Material'?

12 Comments:

Blogger Adam said...

To whom it may concern,

Before I came across your materials I used to be a 19 pound weakling. Now, after reading everything you have to offer, in 3 short weeks I have become a super powered dynamo. No one kicks sand in my face at the beach anymore.

I can't thank you enough.
Yours sincerely,
Adam.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

This is/was powerful.

Down dog.

5:01 PM  
Blogger Mr Jigglesworth said...

Are you really a journalist?

2:33 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Mr Jigglesworth

I should dead set ban you from this Web Page for that shit.

(Unless it's a Gag, in which case, haha, dude!)

Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Ministry of Internal Affairs

2:49 AM  
Blogger Jess said...

How dare that motherfucker doubt you?

IOYC, I insist you have one of your posse get up in his grill, immediately.

Or at least think about employing some sort of large oafish man named Shorty to work as your bodyguard*.


*this will also work out quite nicely when it comes to dealing with all the people who have arrived with a desire to touch you inappropriately. You are not a piece of meat!

4:31 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Jess

It's cool, if I wanted to I could just go ahead and fuck shit up all over the place by myself but it's only my professionalism that keeps things in check and thanks to Jesus for that. Imagine if I just 'went nuts'?! It would be like a nuclear Weapon.

"I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT IN CASE I SHIT MYSELF"

Good idea.

Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Campaign Headquarters

6:15 AM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

Get with the program and update your blog already.

Yours sincerely,

IOYC Supervision Committee

8:10 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Dude, he's probably in transit to Antartica or Eqypt researching the latest in cutting edge technology used in Science.

If every dude, spent as much time as this IOYC dude researching the hard facts and asking the tough questions, Evil would pretty much be completely gone.

Wouldn't that be nice?

10:09 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Book and Adam

Adam so knows what time it is, it's like he's a motherfucking atomic Clock. If I was to update this Web Site with sub-standard journalism, it would become the shittest thing ever, people would bash / kick my door down and kill me with their bare hands and I'd be dying and saying 'Thanks because I Totally Deserve This Brutal End, my Journalism went into Poo.'

Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Standards Committee

3:13 AM  
Blogger Mr Jigglesworth said...

Don't ban me for questioning your credentials, I was just concerned about total hipness and the fact that you write.

Have you considered that fact that tai-chi totally kicks yoga's butt?

3:22 AM  
Blogger James said...

Sounds like the first cunt got himself some Jobilates.

3:48 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Mr Jigglesworth and James

It sounds like you might be considering 'stepping on the toes' of Yogacharya Dr. F. Estevez-Griego with some 'tai chi / Jobilates is better and more effective than Yoga' shit.

All I can say is, good luck. I've met the guy and he is the type of dude that will explode with rage for no reason whatsoever, Yoga hasn't calmed him down at all. I hope he isn't reading this.

[if you are, Big Hello Yogacharya Dr. F. Estevez-Griego!]

"YES BUT ARE YOU REALLY A FUCKING JOURNALIST"

Yours Sincerely,
IOYC Information Management

7:13 AM  

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