Wednesday, June 01, 2005

HOW TO SURVIVE INSIDE A MASSIVE EXPLOSION

It's not often you think about what you would do if all of a sudden everything around you fucking exploded. Luckily, I think about this kind of shit all the time and have come up with a Plan to survive even the biggest explosion with only probably an arm off or burnt.


'There's no fucking way someone could survive in that, even a Robot would Melt'

That's what I used to think until I came up with the Plan. And it's not just 'running away' like those Cowards in the photo are doing.

"DUDE, YOU SHOULD SHARE THIS KNOWLEDGE WITH US AND ALSO THE ARMY / ARMED FORCES"

I tell you what, I would love to share it. But it has to be Top Secret, for fuck's sake. If people knew how to survive in Explosions, generally, they would be exploding shit everywhere, to survive and also to wipe out people who didn't know how to survive. You can see where this is going.

"PRETTY SOON THE WHOLE WORLD WOULD BE EXPLODED"

Exactly. I can't have that shit on my conscience, that would straight up ruin my life.

5 Comments:

Blogger telf said...

fuck man are you crazy. but funny!

5:26 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Telf

Is this a question. If so, I can only answer:

1. See above.

Kind Regards,
IOYC Cable and Wireless Plc

5:59 AM  
Blogger Adam said...

Offical Memo.
To: IOYC
CC:
Subject: Request.

To whom it may concern,

Reading the subject line of this post, I became excited about the step-by-step guide you were going to provide. I then purchased several large barrels of oil, some firecrackers, a TNT exploding push-down thing, a large roadtrain filled solely with magnesium and a suitcase sized electronic bomb. Unfortunately, I didn't have a lot of money so bought the analogue clock version of the suitcase bomb.

Pleased with my purchases, I have sit down at my desk and have taken off all the price tags and filed the receipts. I set the analogue bomb and continued reading your post. To my dismay, you did not provide a step-by-step guide of surviving explosions. I believe I have.....um, some short time before everything explodes.

Could you please quickly post information on defusing an analogue electronic bomb and the TNT push down thing I just pushed down?

Kind regards,
Adam.

9:08 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Adam

If you are reading this, you're probably Dead. All I can hope and wish is that your family isn't too fucked off about this.

I'm really pretty sorry, but like I said it's not something I can just 'divulge', because otherwise the world would be in the shit so bad.

Please Accept My Condolences,
IOYC (Caymans) Plc

PS - If it's any consolation Adam's family, the dude's formatting / official memo making skills were Off the Fucken Hook. Holla!

3:01 AM  
Blogger telf said...

yep it was rhetorical as i know you must be mad. never fear, you are onto a winner!

6:25 AM  

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