I'VE MET MY MATCH
Ayo, check it. This is a rough fucking day here, due to the fact that I've just totally met my match at the hands of probably the sickest dude on the planet. I know what you are probably thinking, 'Holy Shit, is this actually happening how could anyone even come close to this shit', totally understandable as that's what I was thinking right up until the moment I decided to fuck with the realness that is Jeff Probst.
'You do NOT want a piece of this, I value my privacy and am notoriously difficult to interview'
As a Journalist I have to ask the tough questions and I really just wanted to find out more about this dude and what makes / made him tick. I asked around the 'Press Club', all they could tell me was:
1. 'Dude, once I tried to interview Jeff Probst and now I have no arms (he ripped them off!! [!!!])'
2. 'You're crazy'
3. 'Those other guys are totally correct plus I HATE YOU'
Naturally I thought, fuck this. I can handle it.
"ARE YOU THE BRAVEST JOURNALIST ALIVE"
The jury is still out. But, here's the transcript for those of you with IRON STOMACHS.
IOYC: Jeff Probst, how are you going dude?
JEFF PROBST: THE PROBST GOT MAD SKILLS, THE PROBST DROP MAD BILLS.
IOYC: Holla.
JEFF PROBST: YOU DON'T HOLLA AT THE PROBST, YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD SET FUCKED AS OF RIGHT NOW.
IOYC: Back off Probst, I don't want to take you down but I will. Can you fuck with this?
[...indistinct scuffling...]
JEFF PROBST: I AM THE REALNESS.
IOYC: ...
JEFF PROBST: SAY IT MOTHERFUCKER, THE PROBST IS THE REALNESS!
IOYC: ...
[Interview terminated]
'You do NOT want a piece of this, I value my privacy and am notoriously difficult to interview'
As a Journalist I have to ask the tough questions and I really just wanted to find out more about this dude and what makes / made him tick. I asked around the 'Press Club', all they could tell me was:
1. 'Dude, once I tried to interview Jeff Probst and now I have no arms (he ripped them off!! [!!!])'
2. 'You're crazy'
3. 'Those other guys are totally correct plus I HATE YOU'
Naturally I thought, fuck this. I can handle it.
"ARE YOU THE BRAVEST JOURNALIST ALIVE"
The jury is still out. But, here's the transcript for those of you with IRON STOMACHS.
IOYC: Jeff Probst, how are you going dude?
JEFF PROBST: THE PROBST GOT MAD SKILLS, THE PROBST DROP MAD BILLS.
IOYC: Holla.
JEFF PROBST: YOU DON'T HOLLA AT THE PROBST, YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD SET FUCKED AS OF RIGHT NOW.
IOYC: Back off Probst, I don't want to take you down but I will. Can you fuck with this?
[...indistinct scuffling...]
JEFF PROBST: I AM THE REALNESS.
IOYC: ...
JEFF PROBST: SAY IT MOTHERFUCKER, THE PROBST IS THE REALNESS!
IOYC: ...
[Interview terminated]
4 Comments:
Listen, I've already proposed to you and also raised the issue of shared "chillun". I don't know how much further I can go to let you know you are the shizzle. Holla!
Dear Potential Fiance, thankyou for your continued support, it's this kind of thing what keeps this Journalism top-notch, and not just some routine shit that other less Qualified Journalists would do in between thinking what they are going to do on their lunch breaks. It's heartwarming that you have given encouragement in what is probably the most traumatic moment for me on here, with Jeff Probst. That shit was out of 'hand'. Holla back, y'all (or similar).
Probst may have have da mad skillz but dig deep enough and I am sure there be incriminating stills.
He's gheyer than a truckload of lubed arseholes.
Dear Sherriff
First up, massive congratulations on being a Sherriff. I am so down with that shit it's not even funny. What do you think about Crime? Did you see my interview with Sherriff Richard Ingram, I gotta tell you that was one of the most satisfying Journalism I've ever been involved with.
About the Probst, I'm hardly going to say a single word about him these days after he comprehensively 'showed me what time it was'. (nb: not an Euphemism).
Peace out Your Honour
(IS THAT CORRECT FOR SHERRIFFS)
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