THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE

"THIS IS PROBABLY THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE"


Buck up, champ.

PAINTING, YES?

ANNUAL REPORT FINANCIAL YEAR 06/07

We are fucking stoked to announce what can only be described as the most engrossing year in all of our Company's history. Our Balance Sheet has been the talk of the market, with much whispering behind closed doors and passing of notes in the Tea House ie speculation. Full credit to CFO Andrew Harbours, he smashed it up big time. Love you bro.




IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE PROPHECY AND RELEVANT PROVISIONS OF THE CORPORATIONS ACT HANDED DOWN BY HIS MAJESTY THE KING I PRESENT TO YOU HEREUNDER THE RESULTS OF OUR EPIC STRUGGLE TO UPHOLD THE HIGHEST FIDUCIARY STANDARD

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Poultry:

Cock Soup is up by 47% on last year. Projected margins on Cock Soup indicate that it will be even better in the future, due to unbearable demand. Proposed rights issue will finance more Cock products to launch in the next quarter.

Hand Lotions:

As a result of cutbacks in the Finger sector, we have turned profits up to a magnificent 8.5%. We are now so in the black it is actually racist to think about it. Everyone in the whole Lotions division got these really huge bonuses. Damn.

Pork Belly:

Ain't nobody buying this shit.

Graphs:

Our Graphing team delivered some red hot results this season. As at June the number of graphs produced is as follows:

UNLEASH THE WOLVES

So I just finished eating the hell out of this Madeleine biscuit my Mother prepared earlier and kindly delivered to my room on a tea-tray what the fuck was she doing in my house.

Most people will do this every single day of their lives but there was something special about this confection, something 'bloody magical'.. No bullshit there was almost music coming out of it - like a radio.

The scent of it provoked all these emotions I didn't even know I had, eg:

- Fear of Contracts
- Nonchalance
- Urge for more biscuits (Borderline Uncontrollable)

and finally,

- Whimsical Reverie

Check it:

INCIDENT FROM EARLY CHILDHOOD

LORD VOLDEMORT stands poised above a little crib, twirling his wand all over the place and incanting. He grows frustrated as spells rebound into walls & ors.

LORD VOLDEMORT: He bears that fucking mark, it's why I cannot kill him!!
HARRY POTTER: Gurgle or whatever (baby talk).
SOME MUGGLE: (Bursting in) Hey what the fuck is going on in here you pasty lizard.

LORD VOLDEMORT: (incanting) CONFABULOL kekeke >_<

The muggle fucks up pretty badly.

Lord Voldemort turns back to finish his awful task.

but,
POTTER IS GONE

LORD VOLDEMORT: (incanting) OH THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT UP BULLSHIT RIGHT HERE.

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Your childhood probably looks like a boring piece of shit compared to this.