Monday, December 17, 2007

I'M EVEN SCHOOLING SENIORS

For all his faults, Stephen Chumby sure doesn't dick about when it comes to turn-around time. Check this.



-------------------


Dear IOYC


RE: FW:


Thanks for your letter of even date. I have processed all the information therein.

Unfortunately I cannot grant you an Employment; no fucking way bro. Remember what happened last time I was your Line Manager - it almost cost me my career.

In brief:

1. You and Derek Fan sent out a package of documents to our biggest client and marked the envelope 'Dear Cock Blankets'. Upon opening said envelope our biggest client found only 300 copies of a single photocopied sheet reading 'I <3 YOU'. I don't think Fan was behind this - he's a good guy just a little lost in the world. I think you were behind it. I REALLY THINK THAT.

2. A pretty huge deal was going down and I gave you full responsibility for compiling the final piece (of the deal). Upon entering your Office at 11:59 pm with Closure due on the stroke of Midnight I discover you playing Tetris to a very advanced stage. Fair enough I was fucking mesmerised by the sheer speed with which the Tetris shapes descended that screen. They were a blur. It was actually beautiful.

2a. The point is I gave you that responsibility.

2b. You shirked it.

In summary please don't ever try to contact me again however McLimits sends his regards, specifically he wanted me to tell you 'Hey what the fuck's up IOYC!! Shit yeah cuz! Been a while has it fuck!!'.



With Warm Regards,

Stephen R. Chumby
Line Manager




-------------------











'Plenty to think about'

24 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh they keep getting better and better. I REALLY THINK THAT. more please

4:41 AM  
Blogger Adam said...

Dear Black Wind and Others,

I've been working nonstop for 12 seconds to formulate this formula.

IOYC = unemployable.

You used to be cool man, now the whole world's GDP is like -7 because of you. Someone ought to knock your block off (giving you nowhere to put your windmill - that'll show you/slipknot/various hangeronerers).

Kind Regards,
Adam.

6:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear IOYC

Where have you gone? please come back.

A. Non

12:50 AM  
Blogger snakedance said...

Are ye still there?
please come back...
velvety choke.

5:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come back immediately.

7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

dude

your later stuff hasn't been up to what i know you're capable of.

however, it's still the best blog on the web - now that one-track-scalesex bitch sold out to paper whores.

none the less, i am willing to send you free things, because i think one day you will become powerful and mask an aged me in your mighty force.

hit me up jonnytrig(at?)wanadoo.fr

x's? don't be gay.

3:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I still check this blog at least once a week. Please come back.

4:35 AM  
Blogger Marion said...

Hello,

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Would you be interested in writing an unbiased review of our product?

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6:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Clearly IOYC is too busy reviewing pinhole glasses, to bother posting ever again. It's a sad time we live in.

1:03 AM  
Blogger that's mister nora to you, sonny said...

Dear BWFS,

Is this cheese?

xoxonora

2:52 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pleaseeee come back

12:33 PM  
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Anonymous Anonymous said...

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