Sunday, September 16, 2007


So I just upgraded the Security levels at my Dwelling. It was on advice from some really sweet Policy Mandarins I employed in the last six months. This shit sounds great, no more worries about enroachments in this volatile region, just leave cash and gems scattered around everywhere, do whatever the hell I feel like basically.


Things have gone too far, it is not feasible for me to enter my own house. Why the fuck did I choose an 85 digit alarm combination? Rain Man would fuck up on that shit. Plus all these massive Boobie-Traps, Laserbeams &c.

So now this is summarising my situation:

1. Stuck outside Dwelling
2. Laundry becoming a problem ('Hey dry cleaner, do you have a nude facility so I can wash MY CURRENT OUTFIT')
3. Minimal access to cash and gems, food
4. Can't say daily phrases like 'Just Going Downtown' or 'Let's Go Inside'

The worst part is the dude that installed the Security is on hols, 'Gone Fishin' or whatever taking a much needed break. Understandable I suppose he does work super hard and has a young family. But still, fuck his unprofessional approach!

If I had access to cash and gems I would pay to 'send him a little message' (eg: Postcard).

'This is why I'm hot'


Blogger gigglewick said...

Freakin' policy mandarins - always making things more difficult than they need to be. What you need is a straight-talking security consultant, like Macgyver.

What am I saying? Give him a call now - no doubt he can get you out of this jam. Better still, he would be too polite to accept any gems as payment, might be prepared to wreak vengeance on allegedly family-friendly security guy and would flash you a winning smile as the credits rolled.

4:59 PM  

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