Saturday, August 11, 2007

CHECKING IN WITH GARY NEIWAND

You may remember this dude if you are into riding a bicycle.

IOYC: So, Neiwand, what's been happening champ.
Neiwand: Well I have been riding my bike fucking heaps.
IOYC: Yeah figures. What sort of music do you like?
Neiwand: Smashing Pumpkins, Everclear, that kind of ill shit right there.
IOYC: [Nods sagely]
Neiwand: To be honest though most of my time is spent trying to forget the terrible incidents of yesteryear, which scarred my life forever.
IOYC: [Nods sagely] Tell me more about this.
Neiwand: I thought I made it clear that I was trying to forget that shit.
IOYC: You brought it up buddy. Outline the events of which you spake.
Neiwand: I will do no such thing.
IOYC: Outline them, or else.
Neiwand: Or else what.

IOYC actually raises an eyebrow in the direction of like 450 Weapons and fighting equipment scattered nonchalantly around the office or whatever.

Neiwand: Let's do this thing.

Neiwand assumes a fighting stance. IOYC eyes him warily - has riding a bike increased his ability to fuck up? Is he viewing this whole contest from the perspective of a velodrome?? WHAT IS GOING THROUGH THE MIND OF NEIWAND.

Neiwand puts on his robe and wizard hat comes in for some kind of kick, which IOYC uses to snap his leg right the fuck off and into bits.

IOYC: Sorry bro this how I roll.
Neiwand: THIS REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THAT FUCKED UP SHIT FROM MY PAST.
IOYC: [Nods sagely]











Anyone experiencing problems of Cycling - you are not alone. Please call Neiwand on 1-800-NEIWAND for confidential advice and assistance.

8 Comments:

Blogger la nadine said...

you still, as the kids say, rock my world, funny man. x

5:06 PM  
Anonymous Me said...

Sono andato via felice. Convinto che almeno per un istante tu mi abbia amato.
Ho anche smesso il lavoro. Tutto quello che stavo facendo lo stavo facendo per te.
09/09

1:31 PM  
Blogger Ben.H said...

Neiwand gave me the courage to quit my soul-destroying job and pursue my dream. Now I am penniless, which was not my dream at all.

I guess you could say my dream has turned into a nightmare. Which is still like a dream, only a really bad one.

2:45 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Poor that guy, I heard he's friends with a farm representative.

10:35 PM  
Blogger Danny said...

Mr. Italiano, dove sei stato? Non o visto tuo post in tanto tempo.

4:59 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

perchè non prendete un hobby costruttivo? hmm? impari disegnare, gioc uno strumento, qualche cosa che possa ottenervi l'attenzione che volete così ovviamente.

3:16 AM  
Blogger Danny said...

Rotolare sul terra a ridere!

4:35 AM  
Anonymous 1 K Colgate said...

LA PORCHETTA

11:40 PM  

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