Friday, February 03, 2006

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK, MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP

Bad news aspiring Music - I just started what will probably be the World's biggest Band. How it works is, IOYC on Drums, IOYC on Guitar / Keyboard, Computerised Basslines, Fucking Sweet Robot on Vocals. I need to program that Robot to sing, at the moment it just puts together a Toyota or some shit, but I can 'sense its hidden talents'.


'I can sense things through a TV'

The kind of entertainment we'll be busting out will be pretty cutting edge, I don't imagine people will know what to think of it. For example, here's a (Totally Impartial) review of our first album 'Hammer of Self-Defence':

IOYC Band
'Hammer of Self-Defence'
Capitol (or some shit)
2006

FOUR HUNDRED STARS

This Album quite literally redefines what it means for things to be good. After listening to it over one thousand times in a row I realised that Holy Fuck, my life is now so damn improved, I am inspired to go to like, Africa and help Childs. Musically, the twin attacks of IOYC and Robot complement each other while at the same time pissing each other off. This tension drives the Band into new territory. It sounds like a fucking Comet hitting a Wizard School. Don't even buy it, just run into a Record Store and DEMAND to own it (politely), clutching your own Face and weeping into a cup of tea (pre-purchased).

Kind Regards

I think it's a fair review. I didn't like that shit about Comets but Fuck Music Critics I can handle it.

8 Comments:

Blogger mister z said...

I bloody loved this track when it came out, back when it was all unnagroun and real, loved it so much it made me cry my own weewee. But since I heard the frickin Tiesto remix on the radio today I've gone right off it.

11:34 AM  
Blogger Book Book Cheep Cheep said...

Dear Kind Regards,

Have you and Robot considered a spiralling duet in the style of Brian McKnight/ Celine Dion for the Salvation of the Childs in Africa?

Because if you're going to waste all that talent on Financial Success, the Probst is right to want to waste you.

Yours,

BBCC

5:22 PM  
Anonymous fancy said...

As a highly successful international recording star, I can honestly say that I am shit-scared.

My roller-coaster ride of frivolous riders and band-room jailbait is clearly at and end.

C'est la vie. Enjoy the good life, IOYC

10:17 PM  
Anonymous contrite fancy said...

an

10:18 PM  
Blogger la nadine said...

dear book book cheep cheep,

FUCKING BLOG ALREADY, FOOL!

muchos besos,

la nadine

2:56 AM  
Blogger la nadine said...

dear ioyc,

sorry to boycott your blog to send messages to bbcc.

nice sounds you're making there.

muchos besos para ti tambien,

la nadine

2:57 AM  
Blogger FLEX said...

I have a fairly good feeling about this record but what I really need to know is will it give me an ERECTION?

If so, my cheque (a.k.a. check) is already in the post.

9:05 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Flex

It will probably blow your Entire Genitals clean off and replace them with a dope new set made of Advanced Polymers. I'm thinking --> I should put an Advisory Leaflet about that shit in there (but what about the Subtle Art Design, Fuck!!?)

Kind Regards,
IOYC Opening Gambit

12:05 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home