ZEN AND THE ART OF BEING PRETTY FUCKING SWEET

Ayo, readers. Check this, I just became totally Enlightened the other day, under the tutelage of this ill Roshi who was visiting from Feudal Japan (I think - he was so non-specific regarding his Origins). If you're wondering 'what did this scene look like', imagine a Mr Miyagi type dude (pre-Corpse), and then me just chilling in some armchairs / fighting on a Cliff.

It's pretty dope being 'one with the universe', but also a big helping of 'so, what next'? Here's a transcript of what happened --> be careful in case you also get Enlightened whilst reading it (eg if you're at a Place of Employment).

IOYC: Sup Roshi, how's my Beginner's Mind? I reckon it's top-notch.
ROSHI: It reminds me of the story of some monk or some shit, a flower petal falling on a tree.
IOYC: Your brand of Buddha is so infused with humour (AND PATHOS).
ROSHI: Tell me about it - I fucking love it.
IOYC: So, how can I get Enlightenment, it's really eluding me.
ROSHI: As long as you search for the Gate, you will never find the Gate.
IOYC: Shit. Just straight up tell me where the Gate is, if you want.
ROSHI: I can't, Buddha will have my nuts.
IOYC: Fuck this.

[MEGA PAUSE]

ROSHI: [Looks pretty mysterious]
IOYC: This is taking a while.

[MEGA PAUSE]

IOYC: HOLY SHIT.

If there's one thing I can say about being Enlightened, it's not too shabby. From now on my Journalism will be pretty loaded with heaps more Buddha-Nature than previously --> a subtle change.


'Pre-Enlightenment Thinking'