Sunday, January 08, 2006

WHATEVER TAKES YOUR FANCY (RATS [AWAY FROM ME])

It's common knowledge that rats are Worthless Vermin. To demonstrate - Imagine a school, day one, all the students sit down and the teacher says 'Good Morning, today's lesson will be How Great Are Rats'. You'd be fucked off beyond belief if you sent your child to that school, 'Demand an Inquiry' / I Sure Hope Someone is fired for this, is this your idea of a Joke, Principal? YOU SHIT PRINCIPAL!!


'Thank you all for coming to my Rock, I might sell you some Insurance now'

I digress. Where I am going is, some clowns think Rats are good, and even make pets out of them. They'd probably try and marry them if it was legal. 'Oh, look at my husband, a Rat'. (Response: 'Your husband is Worthless Vermin --> Get a Divorce'). These people are almost all members of the National Fancy Rat Society (NFRS), one of the most heinous societies of them all. All they like to do, all day, is just take normal old rats and turn them into Fancy Rats, breeding like Rabbits (or Rats).

I just hope that like such fucked up societies as Amazon, Tribe of Inca etc, the NFRS gets its ass handed to it by a Conquistador or two. An example of 'Social Darwinism'?


'Your shit Sun Calendar is no match for my Spanish Violence of Kung Fu'

7 Comments:

Blogger Jess said...

I feel I should mention in defence of some rats that I was assured by Zoo staff (yes, I used to work at the zoo) that they are motherfucking smart creatures. They can be trained like dogs and have favourite songs and everything.

They are even used in SKETCH COMEDY at the zoo and RESPOND TO MUSICAL CUES.

Next up? An all-rat production of West Side Story.

4:58 AM  
Anonymous fancy said...

Rats aside (like, so far aside they fall off the world, please), I won't have my good name impugned by this "society". There is nothing fancy about living off the sewage leak under my house.

And Jess, your argument is nothing new. Pied Piper, anyone? Only the fucking finest ever piece of sketch comedy, WITH musical cues!!??!?!? And anyway, some Christina Aguileras can also be trained to respond to musical cues. This hardly amounts to a defence.

My cat says "they taste bad, but I kills 'em anyway. WHERE IS MY TRAILER!!" 'Nuff said.

1:59 PM  
Anonymous tantrik said...

I saw some rat fanciers on the TV the other day and I was disgusted. Sure, the furry little fuckers can pull off the occasional cute facial twitch (like Samantha - the hot original, not that Kidman joker - in Bewitched).

Howfuckingever, in the background I could see a couch covered in tiny shitballs! Was it specifically the fucking rats' couch or were people meant to sit there too? Me thinks the latter but there's obviously a hierachy in a rat fancier's house and I reckon the rat's are allowed to shit where they please.

Now that has obvious health implications (Black Plague, gum disease, etc) but you can't blame the dumb rats. So, I'll sign off by paraphrasing the NRA dickheads; "rats don't kill people, fanciers do!"

5:51 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You think you have problems. Here in the States, we have geckos trying to sell us insurance.

http://www.geico.com/

1:37 PM  
Blogger Count Coonicko(SATIRE) said...

The head gecko is Warren Fucking Buffett..the second richest man in the World.

3:27 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to let you know, Those of you who think of rats as "little shitballs" are a bunch of asses. Many pet rats are litterbox trained and do NOT go to the restroom outside of their cage. And even if they do, there are lots of dogs and cats that shit and piss all over peoples houses and I don't see you dissing them. The same goes for people who breed cats and dogs are they freaks because they try to make new kinds of cats and dogs IE: the munchkin cat or the bagel dog? As for the sewage comment, the fancy rat has been domesticated for at least a hundred years so none of the little 'shitballs' are comming out of sewer. And if you have a sewage leak under your house then you might as well call yourself a little shitball because those conditions that you speak of them coming from you live in yourself you big Sewage Sucker.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone who doesnt like rats is basically a worthless cunt so fuck off and die !

9:00 AM  

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