Sunday, June 05, 2005

UNSOLVED MYSTERIES OF SCIENCE

These days we take it for granted that Science can answer pretty much every single question in Earth. For example:

Q: What is the difference between 'five' and 'nine'?
SCIENCE: Please refer to a Table of Logarithms.


'The correct answer is 6.1'

Man, that's the realness. It gives me a BUZZ just thinking about how rad Science (usually) is. Other areas completely 'squared off' by Science include:

1. Squares.

However, there's one area where Science is completely at a loss. And that is, Slime Molds. Check this:

"Slime molds in the genus Fuligo are organisms that can appear bright yellow to orange, fading to brown and tan as they dry. They pose no threat to plants, animals or children, but they look awful and might be distracting at a garden tour or barbecue. You won't find any miracle cures for slime molds because chemicals do not kill nor eliminate it. In fact, chemicals can do more harm to the applicator and the environment!"


'YUCK / wtf!! Please Watch out, Dog'

This scares the pants out of me.

"CALM DOWN DUDE, I'M A FUCKING EXPERT ON SINGLE-CELLED ORGANISMS"

Your bragging is annoying probably justified. But NEWS FLASH, a Slime Mold is a MULTI-CELLULAR COLONY. So you just made a big mistake, how does it feel?

I plan on dedicating at least the next fifty years of my life to working this shit out.

How Scientists might react:


'Thank Christ for this dude even though he will put us out of a job probably'

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