A BIG WIN
Alright, listen up. After my encounter with Jeff Probst went straight up 'horribly awry', I thought I needed a challenge to re-boot my reputation / integrity as a Top Journalist.
So I decided to grow the World's Biggest Pumpkin.
"WTF, DO YOU KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT FARMING AND SPECIFICALLY PUMPKINS"
Ayo, check yourself, because I know a 'tonne' about them, after reading up on 'Pumpkin Nook', which is The Internet Shrine and Library for Pumpkins. Just take a look at the HARD FACTS on Pumpkin enthusiasts:
"Pumpkin lovers share some great personal traits. They, we tend to be :
- Fun loving
- Intelligent and inquisitive
- Respectful of nature.
- Friendly and helpful
- easy going
- charitable
- and much more"
'Hell Yes!Are we in the right place'
I purchased a Pumpkin seed from a dude, planted it in some Soil, and sat back for like half an hour to watch that shit grow OUT OF CONTROL.
'What a load of Shit'
At one point I was worried that my Pumpkin was just going to be too fucking huge for Reality and that people would think it was fake / a trick. Luckily, nobody even batted an eyelid except in shock at how big it was.
What the hell will I do next, who cares as I have got this title now: Grower Of World's Biggest Pumpkin.
It's an achievement that most people will never, ever have.
So I decided to grow the World's Biggest Pumpkin.
"WTF, DO YOU KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT FARMING AND SPECIFICALLY PUMPKINS"
Ayo, check yourself, because I know a 'tonne' about them, after reading up on 'Pumpkin Nook', which is The Internet Shrine and Library for Pumpkins. Just take a look at the HARD FACTS on Pumpkin enthusiasts:
"Pumpkin lovers share some great personal traits. They, we tend to be :
- Fun loving
- Intelligent and inquisitive
- Respectful of nature.
- Friendly and helpful
- easy going
- charitable
- and much more"
'Hell Yes!
I purchased a Pumpkin seed from a dude, planted it in some Soil, and sat back for like half an hour to watch that shit grow OUT OF CONTROL.
'What a load of Shit'
At one point I was worried that my Pumpkin was just going to be too fucking huge for Reality and that people would think it was fake / a trick. Luckily, nobody even batted an eyelid except in shock at how big it was.
What the hell will I do next, who cares as I have got this title now: Grower Of World's Biggest Pumpkin.
It's an achievement that most people will never, ever have.
3 Comments:
Dear Cats
I won't be sharing shit. That's how I stay number one in the field of Pumpkin Growing. I will give you a hint however.
HINT:
Yours sincerely,
IOYC Digital Solutions Pty Ltd
fuck people are rude- when Newton like invented gravity no one went round giving him shit and asking for some, it was just there and accept in, yo.
SAME GOES FOR THE FUCKING BIG P-KIN!
thomasr
Great readd thanks
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