FIRE IN A HOLE, HIKING IN THE SNOW
Check this diary of known Antarctic Explorer, Shackleton.
Day IVXLLMC
My childhood companion, Billy Stickers, has become seriously wounded in a fistfight we had in our tent. I didn't want to hurt him but he has been dropping so many L-Bombs on me, like a gooey-eyed "hey when are we going to marry, Shackleton", it's just not the place for it. I'll admit the atmosphere in these cramped surroundings has been pretty fucking romantic. Even I, Shackleton, have felt crazy aroused at certain points. But if Billy Stickers continues with this shit I might possibly give up on my mission to find the Magnet of the South.
I am starting to wish I had just gone to Torremolinos.
Day VLLMCXI
I, Shackleton, and Billy Stickers have been discussing names for our new babies. Here is our list:
BOY NAMES
Ice Cold Derek
Frombert
Terry Latino, PhD
GIRL NAMES
I Wish You Were A Boy
Alan
Terry Latino, PhD
Day KLXXMIC
I straight up ate B. Stickers because we ran out of food. I sure hope nobody finds this signed confession.
Signed,
Shackleton.
-------
"One summer, I watched a group of caterpillar eating a birch tree right outside my door. I thought a pair of them would make a perfect mustache. It was a difficult photo shoot, since they kept trying to crawl up my nose and also had trouble sticking to my face. Applying honey to my upper lip (my mother's suggestion) helped a great deal. Crossdressing, as an act that is generally thought of as highly unnatural act, transpires here using entirely natural materials."
Self-Portrait as Sir Ernest Shackleton
C-print, 6 x 8 inches, 2002
Day IVXLLMC
My childhood companion, Billy Stickers, has become seriously wounded in a fistfight we had in our tent. I didn't want to hurt him but he has been dropping so many L-Bombs on me, like a gooey-eyed "hey when are we going to marry, Shackleton", it's just not the place for it. I'll admit the atmosphere in these cramped surroundings has been pretty fucking romantic. Even I, Shackleton, have felt crazy aroused at certain points. But if Billy Stickers continues with this shit I might possibly give up on my mission to find the Magnet of the South.
I am starting to wish I had just gone to Torremolinos.
Day VLLMCXI
I, Shackleton, and Billy Stickers have been discussing names for our new babies. Here is our list:
BOY NAMES
Ice Cold Derek
Frombert
Terry Latino, PhD
GIRL NAMES
I Wish You Were A Boy
Alan
Terry Latino, PhD
Day KLXXMIC
I straight up ate B. Stickers because we ran out of food. I sure hope nobody finds this signed confession.
Signed,
Shackleton.
-------
"One summer, I watched a group of caterpillar eating a birch tree right outside my door. I thought a pair of them would make a perfect mustache. It was a difficult photo shoot, since they kept trying to crawl up my nose and also had trouble sticking to my face. Applying honey to my upper lip (my mother's suggestion) helped a great deal. Crossdressing, as an act that is generally thought of as highly unnatural act, transpires here using entirely natural materials."
Self-Portrait as Sir Ernest Shackleton
C-print, 6 x 8 inches, 2002
12 Comments:
Isn't it entirely appropriate then that Putin felt it necessary to freeze Yeltsin in time with his incredible arm strength?
I'm feeling at least 50% positive about him right now!
I have forgiven you and I still love you.
Dear B. Stickers
Your message gives me a great Warmth in my Cockles, but also a sense of really bad Tragedy as it will never reach its intended recipient, Shackleton.
He died in 1922 of a hideous plague.
Kind Regards,
Whoa! A haunting message from the death on a blog of all places.
Call Guiness!
favourite post ever.
x
oh.
thanks anyway.
Dear As A Cat
Your message gives me a great Warmth in my Cockles (see above).
Dear B. Stickers
No problem! With such a calm attitude to the Vicissitudes of Life I am sure you may soon find a new Companion even doper than known diarist, Shackleton.
Dear Jobe and Yubris
Included for completeness.
Kind Regards,
The sadnes in the face ... is so sad.
and the collective noun for
"I watched a group of caterpillar eating a birch tree"
could be
'a procession of caterpillars'.
Dear Please
There is fuck all happy about the story of that doomed adventurer, Shackleton.
I think the sadness of the dude / chick is entirely appropriate. In fact it gives me a great Warmth in my Cockles (see above).
Kind Regards,
can someone tell me who I can see about some flowers for Shackleton's ancestors?
this is the only place I know to look.
Dear B. Stickers
Such a heartfelt gesture gives me a great Warmth in my Cockles (see above).
Based on my knowledge of Psychology [fucking unbelievable], I think it would have been severaly appreciated by that long-departed explorer, Shackleton.
Kind Regards,
Is there any danger of this blog ever getting updated?
It's a cache of humour in the bitter months.
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