Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I JACKED ALL TRADES AND MASTERED ONE OF FOUR ELEMENTS

So, I had almost an unlimited level of success with my previous work for Childs and thought to do another one right now. Who are you to stop me, with your statute book.

THE STORY OF ADVENTUROUS WALRUS
or, "All's Well That Ends Well"

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Once upon a time there lived a leathery Walrus, his name was probably Jor-El or something. Unlike the other timid as shit Walruses, Jor-El had a longing for adventure. Watching all his friends sit around eating hoary old chestnuts, AGAIN, Jor-El formed an idea in the back of his mind: let's swim to Fiji.

Background: Fiji is usually off-limits for Walrus-kind. It's extremely hot there and Walruses left unattended will fuck up and explode. They just aren't designed for it (the heat). You can imagine what it would look like if heaps of Walruses exploded at once - not good.

Jor-El decided that he would coat himself in a revolutionary 'Cold Solution' that he got off Scientists. He proceeded to swim to Fiji, ignoring his parents and friends who gave him some pretty big stern looks.

Once in Fiji, Jor-El started a reasonably successful newspaper, reporting on issues of the day with insight and aplomb. To this day he pens a society column detailing events and gossip among the elite of Fiji, few of whom are aware of his origins and the fact that there is a big fucking Walrus in their midst.

Jor-El can be contacted for further information on +679 739 0210 or by emailing jor-el@fiji.com.

6 Comments:

Blogger Jobe said...

Pure elegance.

Your eloquent word use is prevalent.

2:43 AM  
Anonymous Bludger said...

and even in your style's early stages of development the whispers got around that Jor-El shows potential, composin dope flows, he drops 'em over slow instrumentals.

3:30 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Jobe and Bludger

RE: JOR-EL

Incidentally, his first twelve inch was pencilled into the books as one of Fiji's most influential.

Kind Regards,

4:05 AM  
Blogger ms fits said...

I find his live performance at Sunbury '73 both stimulating and progressive. Thank you for reading.

7:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my god how is this weblog still continuing.

11:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man o man, is IOYC going to deal with the plot against Putin (http://www.guardian.co.uk/russia/article/0,,2056321,00.html?gusrc=rss&feed=1)?

Is Stedman involved?

6:06 PM  

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