Thursday, March 16, 2006

THE FIRST TIME MACHINE INVENTED WILL MENTION ME

So, another year rolls around, festivities in the streets, I think perhaps it's the Year of the Themed Horse. I was having the biggest fucking Kinesiology massage ever when I decided to have my fortune explored. Luckily there was some two-for-one shit going on down the fortune exploratorium, otherwise I would have been so fucking out of pocket. Can you claim a fortune explore on Health Insurance?


'Nothing too serious -> Should clear up in a Week or so'

FUTURE PREDICTIONS
Year of Themed Horse

As foretold by the Prophecy.

"You will no doubt experience some great changes this Year in line with the planets of the Solar System. As the Moon moves into a total Vortex, you will feel like some weird shit is happening, but it's alright, just chill for a bit maybe eat a Chicken if the mood takes you. Financially, you are pretty much fucked so please hand over your Dope Watch, as if I give a fuck it is a heirloom of your Grandparent, just fucking give it to me right now, my precioouss. On the front of Romance, you'll probably marry a Sheik if you can just force yourself to do it. It won't be so bad, but there will be times where it will flat out suck shit. Be Steadfast, or at the least, be Teadfast."

I feel kind of worse now than before I knew my fate. That will teach me to play with Destiny, or will it? 1-900-DELPHI.ORG

2 Comments:

Blogger ms fits said...

Could you ask them for me what will be future predictions for Geminis 'circa' 2006 please okay thanks please bye.

3:28 AM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Ms

There's no way I'm setting foot back in that joint, I almost got bitten by a Leopard there last time, just out of spite, fucking thing wasn't even hungry, just had the biggest shit 'eating' grin on its face. I'd really love to show it What For or at least stop thinking about how much Pain it caused me (the bite I almost got).

At a pinch however I'd say 2006 for Gemini will be 'full of cantankerous old Grannies with sticks beating the shit out of each other but kind of chilled out, then occasionally really sweet'.

Kind Regards,
IOYC Now The Subject of a Major Motion Picture

7:35 PM  

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