Saturday, July 09, 2005


Alright - 'Hear Ye Hear Ye'. I've been thinking so fucking hard about the possibility of Opening my own Jail. I think it is almost a flawless idea to make a huge legal profit as well as helping Society to reform Prisoners, 'keep them off the streets'.

Basically my Jail would consist of a huge really powerful Maximum Security wing to be patrolled by qualified Guards, keeping the Prisoners under lock and key whilst also providing educational programs (eg: 'How To Be A Member of Society', 'Opening a Shop', 'New Age Medicine'). There would also be a normal wing (almost like a Hotel?) for 'victimless crime' (Murder of Ghosts etc). I toyed with the idea of totally instigating a 'Panopticon' which is a big wheel Jail with a single guard at the Centre. This shit was dreamed up by Jeremy Bentham. But he didn't realise - it'll never work.

'Stick to not designing Jails, Jeremy Bentham You Idiot! LOL you live in a box'


It's pretty simple - just get the Prisoners to lower their expenses at the same time as maximising their income. Because they become 'Property of the Jail' (until Parole / Judgment Day or some shit).

So it's just a matter now of working out the details, I have asked so many Jail Managers for help but they have been really useless, just saying stuff like:

1. 'It's no big deal, mainly Common Sense'
2. 'Watch the Money Pile Up!!'
3. 'Stay off my turf, IOYC you better stick to Journalism and GET OUT OF JAILS'

No help there! Is this something I can just play by Ear.


Blogger nicholas said...

WWP6 do?

3:55 PM  
Blogger thr said...

Straight up- no way man.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for profit from incarceration, it's the logical way forward.

But the financial investment aside, what about the emotional?

You, sir, are a real journalist who gets into the story like no other before or since. How can you honestly say you won't end up 24/7 invested in your "clients" outcomes?

Man if you thought it was bad having those monkeys from Slipknot fuck your shit up on the domestic front, wait n see how messed up your life will be when you have crazy jailbirds by day, then Slipknot by night. No, we need you as a journo, not a jailo.

Maybe you could do it until you "get the realness" back from the Probst.

Werdage, respect etc*

thomas argh

* Please don't take this the wrong way, I just can't stand to see talent wasted. Like Nikki webster NOT doing porn etc.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Thomas arrrgh,

This dude is already a top shelf Investigative Journo, a Museum Curator, an expert of Re-Insurance and a Dentist (or dental assistant), surely he has time between the hours of 11.30-12pm on a Saturday to Jail up.

6:25 PM  
Anonymous Jesus said...

I hereby endorse this product and/or service.

Punishment: not just for immortal dudes anymore!

10:29 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Jesus is great. Way better than that John the Baptist guy!

P.S) Which one is Jesus again?

11:12 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Nicholas and Dudes

That is such a relevant Question re Perri 6, I tell you what he would do and that is - Think about it in / with his Think Tank! It's almost a 'Catch-22' to try and resolve any question about Perri 6.

In response to all this 'can I have time for Jail' etc, I'd just like to say I'll make time or some shit (using a Time Machine??). My main concern though is Rehabilitation and Huge Profits - not mutually exclusive. (LOL Exclusive)

Kind Regards,
IOYC 12 Page Supplement

9:40 AM  
Anonymous ilse said...

The Panopticon-- ahhh those Arts Degree Days, reading Foucault's theories regarding this contraption. What's an Arts degree for if you can't read about historical instances of torture and population control? Certainly not for a fucking JOB that's for sure.

Yours Bitterly,

Frances La Fou

10:28 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Ilse

Just get a job, in an Office! How hard is it for crying out loud. I've got so many (easily over 100).

Kind Regards,
IOYC With Oyster Sauce

11:02 AM  
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