Thursday, December 07, 2006

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY PAL

Well, it's finally Happy New Year 2007 and not a moment too soon. Time to reflect on 'exactly what the fuck just happened' for the year of 2006, check it.

THE GOOD

1. Made a lead suit so there is no longer a hideous problem with X-Rays.
2. Cycled across Asian land mass in about 5 minutes, so fucking quick.
3. Received voluminous correspondence destined for Captain of England Sports, Andrew Strauss. This is not some bullshit, it actually really happened, pretty good hey, shit yeah.
4. Exposed Arm Strength of Putin at big fucking risk to my shit. Just between you and me, I am still freaked about this.

THE BAD

1. Scored a massive dose of X-Ray Radiation straight into my Coccyx (see point 1. above ibid et al).
2. Fell off a Bridge into a Lake. That shit was freezing.
3. Every single Stock and Bond in my Portfolio dropped by 700,000%. Fucking shit Accountant that I have / had, should never have listened to that silvery-tongued guttersnipe.

THE UGLY

1. Grew weird shit out my Face.
2. Somehow became involved in modelling for Child Pornography even though I am way too old.
3. Ate a poo by accident.



All up it's been a pretty good year, I just hope it doesn't happen again.



'That's a Wrap'

11 Comments:

Blogger sublime-ation said...

what a year!

9:10 PM  
Blogger fat ho said...

what happened with that andrew strauss shit? is there a blog entry about it in the archive somewhere (i'm too lazy to look)?

you should have done the racist comments CC'd to the press...

9:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must order bulk wraps for my child 'care' centre. Although that 2-4 year old looks strangely content. Or evil. Or similar.

10:09 PM  
Anonymous oip said...

U2U

2:11 AM  
Blogger belle said...

seriously (if that is possible) what are those wraps FOR?

9:49 PM  
Blogger belle said...

thanks for your help then!

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HEY YOUR "pachelbel inn" LINK IS BROKEN YOU NITWIT

4:36 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Anonymous

Re: Pachelbel Inn

I refer to your query of 18 December 2006.

Thanks heaps for pointing that shit out buddy, Super Helping as like I don't have enough on my plate already, there is 400 things on it and it's only a little Plate like you might use to serve a fucking Tea (is that shit actually a Saucer?). Also if you were to call me a Nitwit in my actual face I would just stare at you so much with 'Patent Pending Penetrating Stare' until you felt so sorry about what had happened and probably you might wee yourself.

ALSO I'M NOT FIXING IT UNTIL AFTER.

Kind Regards,

4:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry about being anonymous, but I am positively lazy sometimes about being identified. I just wanted to comment on the look of Regular-sized child and suggest it may be attempting some kind of Jedi mind-trick to un-Wrap itself.

Please notify interweb community (incl. existing anonymous) if this should ever prove successful as it would create significant buzz.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Black Wind, Fire and Steel said...

Dear Anonymous,

Re: Jedi Mind Tricks

1. Y'all don't overstand how fucking strong my wife is.

2. I suggest that the levels of nonchalance escalate from the youngest to oldest, of the Raps, or perhaps simply a World-Weary Resignation, such a pity, that's what you get for being a Rap Victim in this day and age I suppose, Mega Sigh.

3. One can only hope vis a vis 'significant buzz'. Are you / are you in contact with, a 'Guru of PR'.

Kind Regards,

5:28 PM  
Blogger fat ho said...

that's something you don't know about, you small rapper...

6:22 AM  

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