Monday, May 09, 2005

POPE ENDORSES JUDO BAN (FROM HEAVEN)

Holy shit, as if things weren't already heated enough in the (now ILLEGAL) world of Judo, the fucking OLD POPE THAT JUST DIED has appeared in Heaven and issued a prepared statement as follows:

"I'm so happy to discover that a complete ban on Judo has been achieved. Although I am sad that this shit didn't happen in my lifetime, just knowing that the world is now a Judo Free Zone is actually better than being in Heaven. God also totally agrees with me."

It literally doesn't get any more IN YOUR FACE than that.



I guess the next question everyone will be asking is 'Hi - how do I possibly fight people in self defence without using my thirty-six years of (now totally USELESS) Judo training."

All I can recommend is to invest in some SERIOUS RE-TRAINING:



or one of these:



"HEY THAT'S JUST A MOBILE TELEPHONE / CELL PHONE"

Good one idiot, because it's actually a TASER STUN GUN:

"Cleverly designed right into a regular cell phone body, this authentic looking 180,000 volt stun gun with personal alarm gives you a tactical advantage. Your suddenly dazed and disoriented attacker won't realize until it's too late that your 'cell phone' is actually a powerful self defense weapon! You'´┐Żll have ample time to escape or get help."

I like those odds!*

[*odds removed by Editor]

3 Comments:

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5:34 AM  
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4:04 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi - I trained in judo and karate for many years. I was looking for blogs having to do with judo and came across yours. Nice blog. I have my own have my own mixed style school now that offers most of the traditional judo techniques. Come have a look at it if you want.

6:38 PM  

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